How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyone

How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneHow to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneThere are two types of relationshipsTransactionalTransformationalTransactional relationships are economic and functional. Theyre based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.Transactional relationships are important. Theyre how you got the groceries in yur fridge, the distributions-mix you live, the clothes you wear, and most of the things you enjoy in your life.However, when it comes to creating the deepest and most important connections, transactional mentalities wont work.The problem is, most people are transactional in their relationships. By very nature, transactional relationships are about getting the most you possibly can in exchange for as little as possible on your part. Theyre all about you, and what you can get. Not about what you can give.And all though it seems brutally obvious the part who introduced you to the person who introduced you to your spouse or business partner or client. Go back that far. - Michael FishmanTim Poulson is a brilliant strategist. He once told me, You can pay people in other ways than money. One of the best ways you can pay them is by giving them credit.Credit for the connection.Credit for the idea.Credit for helping you when you couldnt help yourself.Adam Grant says there are Givers and Takers. Some people give credit. Others take credit. The ones who take credit are transactional.They say I love you to each otherYou can give without loving, but you cant love without giving. - John WoodenThis may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, theyll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. Ive been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.In all of my deepest relationships - especially business relationships - I tell them I love them. They respond the same way. And its mutually felt. And the relationship is so much better. We actually love each other.Our language enhances our convictions to the relationship. Its not cheap talk. Its commitment. Its love. And it leads to greater connection and intimacy and success.ConclusionHow many of your relationships are transformational?How transformed are you by those relationships?How transformed is the world?Its only through transformational relationships that the synergistic power of 100X can happen. Collabo ration between two or more people who REALLY CARE about the others. Who protect them. Who pick them up.Who do you have that you could call at 2 AM if you were having an emergency?Do you have someone you could call at 2 AM if you were in trouble?How would they respond?Thats a good way of measuring the quality of your relationships.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneThere are two types of relationshipsTransactionalTransformationalTransactional relationships are economic and functional. Theyre based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productiv ity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreTransactional relationships are important. Theyre how you got the groceries in your fridge, the place you live, the clothes you wear, and most of the things you enjoy in your life.However, when it comes to creating the deepest and most important connections, transactional mentalities wont work.The problem is, most people are transactional in their relationships. By very nature, transactional relationships are about getting the most you possibly can in exchange for as little as possible on your part. Theyre all about you, and what you can get. Not about what you can give.And all though it seems brutally obvious the person who introduced you to the person who introduced you to your spouse or business partner or client. Go back that far. - Michael FishmanTim Poulson is a brilliant strategist. He once told me, You can pay people in other ways than money. One of the best ways you can pay them is by giving them credit.Credit for the connection .Credit for the idea.Credit for helping you when you couldnt help yourself.Adam Grant says there are Givers and Takers. Some people give credit. Others take credit. The ones who take credit are transactional.They say I love you to each otherYou can give without loving, but you cant love without giving. - John WoodenThis may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, theyll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. Ive been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.In all o f my deepest relationships - especially business relationships - I tell them I love them. They respond the same way. And its mutually felt. And the relationship is so much better. We actually love each other.Our language enhances our convictions to the relationship. Its not cheap talk. Its commitment. Its love. And it leads to greater connection and intimacy and success.ConclusionHow many of your relationships are transformational?How transformed are you by those relationships?How transformed is the world?Its only through transformational relationships that the synergistic power of 100X can happen. Collaboration between two or more people who REALLY CARE about the others. Who protect them. Who pick them up.Who do you have that you could call at 2 AM if you were having an emergency?Do you have someone you could call at 2 AM if you were in trouble?How would they respond?Thats a good way of measuring the quality of your relationships.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for put ting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Robots have the power to influence childrens decisions

Robots have the power to influence childrens decisionsRobots have the power to influence childrens decisionsAdults already worry about the peer pressure their children will encounter, and now they may have to worry about them feeling pressured by objects that are not even alive.In a new study inScience Robotics, researchers from Germany and the U.K. found that children are at risk of being influenced by robots.Robots influence childrens choices, but not adultsTo test how we respond to groupthink when a robot is in the room, the researchers set up the popular Asch experiment, which was first done by psychologist Solomon Asch in 1951.People often follow the opinions of others and weve known for a long time that it is hard to resist taking overviews and opinions of people around us,Tony Belpaeme, robotics professor at the University of Plymouth and one of the studys authors, said. We know this as conformity. But as robots will soon be found in the home and the workplace, we were wonderi ng if people would conform to robots.In the vision test, participants in a room have to guess which line on a screen is closest in length to the first and state their answer. The answer is obvious to participants when they are alone, but logic gets muddled when the other participants in the room confidently give the wrong answer.The researchers applied this same kind of test, but added a Nao humanoid robot into the mix. The Nao looks like a small toy figure you could buy in a childrens department. When the researchers gave adults and children ages seven to nine the same task, adults were able to shake off the robots influence, but children were more susceptible.The children scored an average of 87% on the test when it was a humans-only room, but when robots joined them, their scores were worse, dropping to an average of 75%.It shows children can perhaps have more of an affinity with robots than adults, which does pose the question what if robots were to suggest, for example, what pr oducts to buy or what to think?Belpaeme said. If a robot can pressure a vulnerable child on how to think, the researchers suggest more thought needs to go into how children interact with them.A discussion is required about whether protective measures, such as a regulatory framework, should be in place that minimize the risk to children during social child-robot interaction, the researchers concluded. When a robot could be a childs future peer, children will need safeguards to make sure their thinking is entirely their own.

Dont Tar All Career Websites with The Ladders Brush

Dont Tar All Career Websites with The Ladders Brush Dont Tar All Career Websites with The Ladders Brush Recently, a class action lawsuit was filed against the American jobs website The Ladders. To those of us who have been following the Ladders controversy for some time, the case comes as no surprise but while investigating the details of the complaint, I came across an online discussion between job seekers who were assessing a number of other careers websites. LinkedIn is just as bad, one said. Yes, also a total scam, agreed someone else. The conversation carried on in this vein and Ive seen and heard it repeated elsewhere. This attitude is a real shame. LinkedIn is far and away the most useful job search website in the world and its totally free. (Yes, you can pay to upgrade your account, but theres no need to do this as most of the sites features are available free of charge). In both senses, it bears no relation to The Ladders. I would urge people to stay away from the Ladders for the reasons given in the article linked above. I encourage my clients to spend very little time (if any) posting their resumes to job boards such as Monster.com or Careerbuilder as these sites no longer add much value to the job search. But its lazy thinking to decide that all websites are useless just because some websites are not effective. If you create a powerful profile on LinkedIn (with a strong headline and a good photo), and use the site actively and effectively, you will gain access to job opportunities you wouldnt otherwise find. Thats just a fact. If youd like to learn more about using LinkedIn, as well as other creative job search strategies, Ive collected some of my best advice here in a series I called The Smart Job Search. I hope it helps and let me know if you have any questions by leaving a comment or shooting me an email (address to the left in the white bar).