How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyone

How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneHow to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneThere are two types of relationshipsTransactionalTransformationalTransactional relationships are economic and functional. Theyre based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.Transactional relationships are important. Theyre how you got the groceries in yur fridge, the distributions-mix you live, the clothes you wear, and most of the things you enjoy in your life.However, when it comes to creating the deepest and most important connections, transactional mentalities wont work.The problem is, most people are transactional in their relationships. By very nature, transactional relationships are about getting the most you possibly can in exchange for as little as possible on your part. Theyre all about you, and what you can get. Not about what you can give.And all though it seems brutally obvious the part who introduced you to the person who introduced you to your spouse or business partner or client. Go back that far. - Michael FishmanTim Poulson is a brilliant strategist. He once told me, You can pay people in other ways than money. One of the best ways you can pay them is by giving them credit.Credit for the connection.Credit for the idea.Credit for helping you when you couldnt help yourself.Adam Grant says there are Givers and Takers. Some people give credit. Others take credit. The ones who take credit are transactional.They say I love you to each otherYou can give without loving, but you cant love without giving. - John WoodenThis may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, theyll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. Ive been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.In all of my deepest relationships - especially business relationships - I tell them I love them. They respond the same way. And its mutually felt. And the relationship is so much better. We actually love each other.Our language enhances our convictions to the relationship. Its not cheap talk. Its commitment. Its love. And it leads to greater connection and intimacy and success.ConclusionHow many of your relationships are transformational?How transformed are you by those relationships?How transformed is the world?Its only through transformational relationships that the synergistic power of 100X can happen. Collabo ration between two or more people who REALLY CARE about the others. Who protect them. Who pick them up.Who do you have that you could call at 2 AM if you were having an emergency?Do you have someone you could call at 2 AM if you were in trouble?How would they respond?Thats a good way of measuring the quality of your relationships.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.How to create rare and life-changing relationships with anyoneThere are two types of relationshipsTransactionalTransformationalTransactional relationships are economic and functional. Theyre based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productiv ity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreTransactional relationships are important. Theyre how you got the groceries in your fridge, the place you live, the clothes you wear, and most of the things you enjoy in your life.However, when it comes to creating the deepest and most important connections, transactional mentalities wont work.The problem is, most people are transactional in their relationships. By very nature, transactional relationships are about getting the most you possibly can in exchange for as little as possible on your part. Theyre all about you, and what you can get. Not about what you can give.And all though it seems brutally obvious the person who introduced you to the person who introduced you to your spouse or business partner or client. Go back that far. - Michael FishmanTim Poulson is a brilliant strategist. He once told me, You can pay people in other ways than money. One of the best ways you can pay them is by giving them credit.Credit for the connection .Credit for the idea.Credit for helping you when you couldnt help yourself.Adam Grant says there are Givers and Takers. Some people give credit. Others take credit. The ones who take credit are transactional.They say I love you to each otherYou can give without loving, but you cant love without giving. - John WoodenThis may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, theyll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. Ive been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.In all o f my deepest relationships - especially business relationships - I tell them I love them. They respond the same way. And its mutually felt. And the relationship is so much better. We actually love each other.Our language enhances our convictions to the relationship. Its not cheap talk. Its commitment. Its love. And it leads to greater connection and intimacy and success.ConclusionHow many of your relationships are transformational?How transformed are you by those relationships?How transformed is the world?Its only through transformational relationships that the synergistic power of 100X can happen. Collaboration between two or more people who REALLY CARE about the others. Who protect them. Who pick them up.Who do you have that you could call at 2 AM if you were having an emergency?Do you have someone you could call at 2 AM if you were in trouble?How would they respond?Thats a good way of measuring the quality of your relationships.Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for put ting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people